Since I have an appointment scheduled this Friday to meet with my primary care physician to see if she’ll authorize the sperm to be shipped to our house (what a weird thing to have an appointment for…) I thought I’d see if she does preconception exams and get everything done at once instead of having separate appointments with different doctors. I take everything with a grain of salt in general (hello, philosophy major), and even more so with doctors. I’m hoping everything will go according to plan and this will be one of the few times I’ll even need to see a doctor. Once we’re pregnant I’m going to contact the midwife I’ve had my eye on, and hopefully she will be able to handle the majority of my prenatal care.
Trying to find out if my primary care physician ever does preconception exams only made me all the more ready for a midwife. I had to play phone tag with multiple different people, and was treated like I didn’t know what I was talking about. When I contacted the front desk she responded like I’d asked her to eat her shoe. After telling me she’d never heard of such a thing in her life (which should have given me a clue to drop it…) she told me she’d have the nurse call me back. The nurse was also very puzzled and kept asking if I had been having problems, why I would want to do this, and “What exactly does this usually include?” After two more phone calls I told them nevermind…
I’ll stick with the other doctor who at least knows what a preconception exam is…
I mainly want to have my CMV titers checked, but we’ll see what else this new doctor wants to run.
I’ve calmed down significantly since my last post. Worrying that we wouldn’t be able to get pregnant with this donor before running out of units was the main thing stressing me out, so I went back and looked at the other donors on our ‘yes’ list, and realized that things will be just fine if we have to go with our second or third choice.
For a long time we’ve known that we wanted to go with a donor that had traits like N, and all of the donors currently on our yes list do. Among other things that means blonde hair and light eyes, although I’ll be amazed if our baby comes out with anything other than my very dark Puerto Rican mop on their head. My dad said that if the baby is blonde like N people are going to wonder why he is with it, and I wouldn’t mind if they got a little extra pigment to help not burn during 100 degree summers. Picking out a donor is a very strange process, though. 1/2 of our baby’s genetic material is something I’m okay being picky about, though. What we found ourselves doing that we didn’t expect as we looked at each donor was picturing showing the profile to our child. That helped rule a few out. Especially in the essays, thinking about a child reading some of them just made me cringe… let alone imagining them meeting the person who wrote it.
Besides deciding what type of donor we wanted to search for, N and I have settled on a multitude of other decisions that we’ve had to discuss and research. After baby fever hit me like a ton of bricks over a year ago, I began researching everything baby-related, especially because beforehand I’d never thought I would want to be pregnant. Becoming vegan put me on the road to being much more naturally minded, but researching babies has made me downright crunchy. By default we’re a bit weird in Midwesterners’ eyes because we don’t eat meat, dairy or eggs… but watch out world once we have a baby.
Some of these things include homebirth, breastfeeding, babywearing, bedsharing, baby-led weaning, elimination communication, not circumcising, and not spanking.
Bless N… I go on researching rampages and then she sweetly hears me out no matter how unusual the subject, and after I answer a few questions for her she agrees and just includes it in her head as something we’ll do for the baby. I’m not sure how I got so lucky. Someone else would probably look at me like I was crazy.
On one side of the family this is the first grandbaby, and on the other side it is probably the last. We’ve been trying to ease our families into it by mentioning little things here and there, so we’ll see how it goes…
On a lighter note, we have had names picked out forever! We aren’t going to find out the sex of the baby before it is born, so we won’t know until birth what name we will be using. There are so few true surprises in life that this is one we want to experience to the fullest.