Wanted

Just checked off the last item on my preconception checklist. I was three months overdue for a dentist appointment, and an office I’d never been to before was able to squeeze me in today after I called in January. Luckily I enjoy the dentist. It’s the only place I get complimented on my meticulous oral hygiene. When you’re flossing every day it’s satisfying to have somebody recognize your efforts, ya know?

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Hopefully 6 months from now I won’t be able to get x-rays because I’ll be pregnant!

This whole ttc process is funny because whenever we make future plans I automatically calculate how pregnant I could be, or whether I’ll be able to do a certain activity. We sat down with our friends awhile back to plan a summer canoe trip and I realized I’d hopefully be pregnant. Do people canoe while they’re pregnant?

I don’t think this baby could be more planned for. Or more wanted.

More Waiting

I have two little countdown widgets on my phone; one for when I order the shipment and the other for the big day. I tell N what number we’re on everyday, and she always humors me even though it’s obviously one less than the day before. It’s starting to feel a little real that we’re actually going to do this. I’m getting really excited!

To distract myself I’ve been rabidly searching through wordpress tags for lesbian ttc/pregnany/baby blogs. I’ve read the past entries and started following quite a few. I nanny a baby during the day and have a lot of time to read during naps. It’s wonderful delving into this little blogging community and seeing stories that reflect my own life. Everyone seems lovely.

Hello to anyone who has started reading here recently!

I will probably wait awhile to update once we pick up the tank and do the insemination. My besties (who are our immediate neighbors) are the only people reading this that know us in real life, and I’d rather they not know exactly when that is happening. It will be bad enough if they see me carting the tank in… ha. We share walls, for Pete’s sake.

One of our two kitties has been a bit sniffly but I’ve been giving him L-Lysine, which has helped a lot. I keep meaning to post a picture of the stinkers. Here’s our sicky. He’s got quite a personality.

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Well baby’s still asleep, so I’ll switch over to something else now. Until next time!
-E

Waiting

Just to be thorough, I called the sperm bank today to confirm that everything is squared away for our shipment next month. I’m always impressed with their customer service, and everything is all set to go!
Sidenote: I always have to make an effort to remember to call the sperm units. I always want to say vials (maybe from playing d&d?).

Not much left to do except wait, which will probably be great practice for impending two week waits.

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Besides waiting we did purchase this test (and by “we” I mean that I ordered it off Amazon and when it arrived at our house I showed it to N):

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Apparently some infections are a cause of preterm labor, so I figured better safe than sorry!

One downside of having researched most topics already is that I can’t think of much to preoccupy myself with that also satisfies my baby fever. Before long I’m going to have to start making our registry just to have something to do. I picked out the carseat I want the other day, but I’ll save that for another post. Even though it’s probably a sign of climate change, at least the Midwest has been having 60-70 degree days so we haven’t been stuck inside hibernating. Stay safe if you’re on the East Coast!

-E

Phone tag, sperm donors & crunchy choices

Since I have an appointment scheduled this Friday to meet with my primary care physician to see if she’ll authorize the sperm to be shipped to our house (what a weird thing to have an appointment for…) I thought I’d see if she does preconception exams and get everything done at once instead of having separate appointments with different doctors. I take everything with a grain of salt in general (hello, philosophy major), and even more so with doctors. I’m hoping everything will go according to plan and this will be one of the few times I’ll even need to see a doctor. Once we’re pregnant I’m going to contact the midwife I’ve had my eye on, and hopefully she will be able to handle the majority of my prenatal care.

Trying to find out if my primary care physician ever does preconception exams only made me all the more ready for a midwife. I had to play phone tag with multiple different people, and was treated like I didn’t know what I was talking about. When I contacted the front desk she responded like I’d asked her to eat her shoe. After telling me she’d never heard of such a thing in her life (which should have given me a clue to drop it…) she told me she’d have the nurse call me back. The nurse was also very puzzled and kept asking if I had been having problems, why I would want to do this, and “What exactly does this usually include?” After two more phone calls I told them nevermind…
I’ll stick with the other doctor who at least knows what a preconception exam is…
I mainly want to have my CMV titers checked, but we’ll see what else this new doctor wants to run.

I’ve calmed down significantly since my last post. Worrying that we wouldn’t be able to get pregnant with this donor before running out of units was the main thing stressing me out, so I went back and looked at the other donors on our ‘yes’ list, and realized that things will be just fine if we have to go with our second or third choice.

For a long time we’ve known that we wanted to go with a donor that had traits like N, and all of the donors currently on our yes list do. Among other things that means blonde hair and light eyes, although I’ll be amazed if our baby comes out with anything other than my very dark Puerto Rican mop on their head. My dad said that if the baby is blonde like N people are going to wonder why he is with it, and I wouldn’t mind if they got a little extra pigment to help not burn during 100 degree summers. Picking out a donor is a very strange process, though. 1/2 of our baby’s genetic material is something I’m okay being picky about, though. What we found ourselves doing that we didn’t expect as we looked at each donor was picturing showing the profile to our child. That helped rule a few out. Especially in the essays, thinking about a child reading some of them just made me cringe… let alone imagining them meeting the person who wrote it.

Besides deciding what type of donor we wanted to search for, N and I have settled on a multitude of other decisions that we’ve had to discuss and research. After baby fever hit me like a ton of bricks over a year ago, I began researching everything baby-related, especially because beforehand I’d never thought I would want to be pregnant. Becoming vegan put me on the road to being much more naturally minded, but researching babies has made me downright crunchy. By default we’re a bit weird in Midwesterners’ eyes because we don’t eat meat, dairy or eggs… but watch out world once we have a baby.

Some of these things include homebirth, breastfeeding, babywearing, bedsharing, baby-led weaning, elimination communication, not circumcising, and not spanking.

Bless N… I go on researching rampages and then she sweetly hears me out no matter how unusual the subject, and after I answer a few questions for her she agrees and just includes it in her head as something we’ll do for the baby. I’m not sure how I got so lucky. Someone else would probably look at me like I was crazy.

On one side of the family this is the first grandbaby, and on the other side it is probably the last. We’ve been trying to ease our families into it by mentioning little things here and there, so we’ll see how it goes…

On a lighter note, we have had names picked out forever! We aren’t going to find out the sex of the baby before it is born, so we won’t know until birth what name we will be using. There are so few true surprises in life that this is one we want to experience to the fullest.

More research…

At this point we’re trying to work out all the details for how things will go next month. We’re going to do an at home IVI with frozen sperm from an open ID donor. Before the sperm bank will ship to our home I have to prove that I’m under the care of a physician by having them fill out a form consenting to the home shipment. Because we’ve recently moved I haven’t been to a doctor in our new city. I contacted my previous primary care physician and she’d like me to come in before signing the forms. Luckily I was able to get an appointment for this Friday. Hopefully she will sign them and that will be squared away, but if not I have an appointment for a preconception exam next Friday with a new doctor.

Besides that I’m getting into a routine with supplements. In the morning with breakfast I’m taking a prenatal (without folic acid) and an additional folate pill. At lunch I take a probiotic, and I’ve been drinking raspberry leaf tea at least at night, if not in the morning, too. I’m going to start adding the Natural Calm magnesium I usually drink separately to my evening tea.

N and I have started putting to use the juicer we were given awhile back. I’m surprised with how easy it is! We’ve been juicing at least every other day, which is reassuring as I know I’m getting plenty of nutrients.

One of the big questions I’ve been puzzling over is when exactly to time the IVI in relation to the positive OPK result. Or whether we should do two IVIs per cycle…

There are a few different recommendations I’ve read. If you have suggestions let me know them in the comments!

A lot of recommendations seem to be between doing one IVI before your positive OPK and one somewhere between 12-36 hours after your positive OPK, OR doing one IVI 12 hours after your positive OPK and one IVI 24 hours after your positive OPK. Still reading up, though. We were planning on just using one unit the first go round but maybe we will use two…

Worries me a bit because I really like this donor but he’s retired, so there’s the worry we would have to choose someone else on top of the cost.

Anyway, trying to stay calm and not be too anxious. I’m a bit of a worrier by nature (especially the day before CD 1 😉 ).

Hooray!

After over a year of intense baby fever research, planning, ovulation charting, and being unable to resist buying random baby items at garage sales and stores, my wife and I decided we should start trying to make a baby!

Luckily, we’ve been thinking about this for so long that I feel like we have all of the information we need, and that we just need to activate the baby plan! The past few days have involved setting up appointments, pulling files I’ve saved, running to the natural food store to buy folate, and choosing a sperm donor (which makes me feel like we’re in an episode of The L Word… Really, how clichéd is it for lesbian couples to buy sperm…).

Kansas was recently forced to legalize same-sex marriage, so hopefully as time passes the parental rights of married same-sex couples will become a bit clearer. Kansas is still refusing to recognize most marriage rights, and some counties haven’t even begun issuing marriage licenses, so things are pretty murky at the moment.

I’ll mainly be the one updating this blog, but I’ll see if I can get N to write occasionally so we can hear her side of things as a mommy-to-be and a non-gestational parent. She’s a busy lady, though. Right now she’s dancing around the living room to a Bollywood work-out video.

Everything doesn’t feel real yet, but maybe documenting our journey will help. Join us on our adventure!

-E